203

I try to look pleasant and not tense up too noticeably when Pastor Robins opens the door. He’s a thin man, mostly bald, and he’s always seemed to me to be a goblin from stories. He’s the kind that would guard the door to the castle, so whenever he actually does answer the door, it makes me nervous. When I was little, I would always tighten the muscles in my backside when he was around because I knew he used his belt on Daisy when she had been bad.

“Yes?” he says, while his tone says that he doesn’t believe that I could be up to any good, and I should probably go away and repent right now.

“I just came to see Daisy.”

“Daisy is meditating in her room.”

I agree with him that meditation today is a very good thing to be doing. “It’s just that we had planned to have an afternoon Word Share to help us focus our minds and our souls for the week. It’s kind of an important week.”

I look as innocent as I can.

He considers, his eyes boring into my soul to discover impurities.

“Thirty minutes should be enough. Since it’s a special occasion, but I expect that most of your day is spent meditating on the Benevolent Force and preparing for meeting tonight.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, of course,” I say, feeling slightly guilty. “I was just pondering on how what we are given is mysterious and beyond comprehension. I thought that Daisy might be willing to discuss it with me.

Finally, after more scrutiny, I am allowed to pass the door-warden and not quite run up the stairs and down the hall to Daisy’s room.

When she lets me in, Daisy’s face looks pink, twisted. She’s been crying, and I bet that it wasn’t because she was contemplating on the nature of the Universe.

      She sniffs. I hurry inside and shut the door again. “I thought you didn’t want to meditate,” she said. “I thought you had to study.”
“Something came up,” I told her.  “You look awful. What is it?”
      “It’s...well,” she twists her hands. “You know that day when I asked you to go on that walk?”
      “Yes.”
      “And you couldn’t but then, instead I went to go see, well meet really. Well, I’ve been seeing him for a while now, but I went to...and he was there...”
      I tell her to sit down so that I can start her over again. “Wren, you’re not making any sense. What’s going on?”
      Her face is white, and she’s gone from weepy too scared. She opens her mouth, then shuts it again. “I’m going to...I’m really sure.” She stops, takes a breath and then looks at me. “I’m pregnant,” she whispers.
“You can’t be.”
She starts crying. first a quick swipe and then a whole break down on my shoulder thing.
      I pat her, trying to process what she said. “What about your dad?” I finally ask.
      “I know.”
      “Does he?”
      “Not yet.”
      “So we have a little bit of time.” Suddenly my mind is racing with plans, most of them ridiculous. My problems seem trivial by comparison. “So you’ll get a solicitation from this guy, I assume? Who is he? I know it’s hard to tell me, but you have to.” So I can go break his nose, for starters.
      She just snuffles and a tear drips down her cheek.
      “Daisy...”
      She just shakes her head. “It’s impossible.”
      Okay, suddenly this isn’t  just a problem; this is big. “What do you mean impossible? Daisy, you have to get married. Hopefully to a powerful man in a different world, but without a husband, your dad...”
      “He’ll kill me.”
      All I can do is nod, because I think that she might be right. Which also convinces me that she means it when she says that there’s no chance of a wedding. If any girl could get a guy to marry her, it’s Daisy. Except, that she got the order a little bit backwards. Stupid. How could she be so stupid? Of course, it’s easy for me to say because it’s not an issue, but still.
      I hand her a handkerchief, because she’s getting soggier. And then I have to hug her again, because she looks like she needs a mom. I wish she had one. For a long while, all I can do is pat and wipe and say baby kinds of things about “shhh” and “It will be okay.” We both know it won’t. It won’t be okay. Not unless you believe in miracles, and according to what her father preaches, Daisy is no longer a candidate for miracles.
      After she can’t cry anymore, and I have zero clean handkerchiefs, then I convince her to drink something and maybe eat a little. I don’t mention it, but in her condition, she probably needs to eat more. I can’t believe how thin she is. I look at her, trying to see it, but it’s just not there.
      She catches me looking at her. “Are you sure?” I ask. “Really sure? Maybe you just suspect--”
      “I can tell,” she said. Her voice is flat and she sounds beaten. “And I took a portal to Standing Trees to see a greenwoman there. She was sure. Believe me, if I could have made her say otherwise, I would have.”
      “Oh.” So that was that. “You know, we’re almost done with EI. You’re certain to get some solicitations, maybe one will be a really nice guy.”
      “Do you think so?”
      “You never know. There might be a really nice guy, and you’re certainly worth it.”
      “Maybe,” she says. “Or maybe I can get an apprenticeship. If I get the right kind, then it’s not as big a problem--especially if it’s far away.”
      I think about Daisy and her test. Not a chance. There’s not a chance that she’ll get anything worth having. “I can help you study,” I tell her. “We still have a few days left.”
      “Thanks.”
      She calms down a little bit after that, but I don’t. She’s relying on me to help her figure something out, but I have no idea what to do.


[216]
I was going to tell her about my problems, but I just can’t now. So when it’s clear that I can’t be much more help, then I’ll just go.
http://kestrelbook.blogspot.com/2012/08/216.html

[215]
Daisy clearly needs something to distract her. So I need to think of a reason to get her out of the house.
http://kestrelbook.blogspot.com/2012/08/215.html